What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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