Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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No soup for you!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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