A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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aodhan hearty

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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9/11

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops