why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops