A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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