There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Jeff

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops