Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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( . Y . )

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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