Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is orange? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops