What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops