why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Tilt your screen back

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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ewrg

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Terry has ebola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops