What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops