whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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