What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops