Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Q: Why do police men keep killing unarmed black men? A: I don't know.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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