- Anti Joke

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

Irish sobriety

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

Knock knock Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

A hill billy went fishing

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

Irish sobriety

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

Knock knock Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

A hill billy went fishing

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

Irish sobriety

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest