What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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82

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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