What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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YOU

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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