Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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