Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Fine, ladies first.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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