A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Heskey time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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