yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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