An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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