What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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