whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops