My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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your mum

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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