What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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ert

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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