why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

batman has diarrhea

A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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