friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

Poop.

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

Mr. T watched "the notebook"

What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

Dislike this.

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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