why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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I'm Polish.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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