Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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