What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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