How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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don't just stand there

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Obama

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops