Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +1

me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call your mama at the gas station

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops