What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

Feminism.

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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