Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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