what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...