What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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