Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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eoin burgin is fat

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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