What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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