How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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