Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I just drank a cola.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whatdumb and gay stewart price

thumb_up thumb_down -17

one stop shop

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops