Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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