Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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i committed murder

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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