What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops