Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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69

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Screw it you write the joke.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops