What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

Your mother just died.

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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