You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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What? Huh?

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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