what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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G

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops