how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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baskets

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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how much fish could a chicken

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops