What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I like that, but why am I happy?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops