A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

You will NEVER guess what just happened!

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

Badabing.

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

A black man walks out of a police station

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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