A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the bible

thumb_up thumb_down -37

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -37

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

thumb_up thumb_down -39

"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops