A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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